Aerosmith – “Jaded”

When: May 2001
Where: Parking lot, Pasadena High School
Who: My mother
Weather: Warm, clear

“Looking back on it, could there possibly have been a confusing acronym for trying to stop kids from experimenting with drugs than DARE? ‘Kids, we’re here today to DARE you not to do drugs! We DARE you to accept our DARE!’

‘Officer, does that mean you want us not to do drugs, or to do drugs?'”

–Mike Birbiglia

I was really into DARE. I mean it. I believed in the program, and after a while I seemed to be the only one. (In the 9th grade Max Brown was shocked to discover that I’d never smoked pot). But in the fifth grade it was perfectly acceptable and we were invited to DARE graduation for the whole school district at PHS. It was not as formal as I’d anticipated, we never went on stage and it was really just a pep rally.

When we pulled into the parking lot, this new song by Aerosmith came on. I got my mom to keep me from getting out of the car until it was finished. It was not my finest moment song-wise. And as it was a DARE rally, it was not my finest moment life-wise.

This man is never not right. I dare you to doubt me.

Next: Dido takes over your boombox and it’s not so bad, it’s not so bad.

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