Madison Avenue – “Don’t Call Me Baby”

Embedding disabled by request.

When: 15 October 2000
Where: The 10 westbound through Ontario.
Who: My mother and bubby
Weather: Warm, dry

Two days ago, I mentioned my carpool mate Elizabeth; at the time this was her favorite song, but for our purposes that’s irrelevant.

One week, my mother did something she only did again once (about which more way later). She got me out of school a day early for purely recreational purposes.

Well, it might have been recreational for me, but she and my bubby still had to go to my cousin’s wedding. My cousin was Marilyn Wilson, ex-wife of Brian and mother of Carnie. But it was in Palm Springs, which was nice because I’d never been. The high desert is all dust and scrubs, air bases and mining towns. This was the low desert: white sand, date palms, casinos, and lots of old gay Jews. Altogether it was fascinating.

But all vacations come to an end, and the following Sunday we were headed through the featureless scrub somewhere around Declezville when we hit traffic. Mindblowing traffic, like Times Square in the ’70s. Like the Bowery in the 1870s. We were stuck under the 15 interchange when this song came on. My mom and bubby were arguing and I was trying to listen to the song, which got me nowhere. It’s funny what you remember.

An insult to crushing post-holiday traffic

Next: Nelly Furtado makes her debut before gettin’ dirty (and nowhere).

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